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Channel: A. Lee Martinez - Author of Divine Misfortune, Monster & more! » Stephen King
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Musings

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I don’t like being considered “funny”.  Because funny is so damned subjective.  Anyway, my stories are stories first, comedy second.  I’m not trying to be wacky or goofy or madcap.  I’m just writing offbeat fantasy that appeals to me.  Personally, I think it’s some truly original stuff, and, if I don’t mind indulging my own ego just for a wee moment, it’s more absurdist pastiche of the fantasy genre with elements of integrated realism.  Now if someone could figure out how to summarize that in a pithy phrase on a book cover, I might be in business.

Those Geico caveman commercials have crossed the line.  They were a mildly cute idea, but they’ve been around so long that I’ve actually developed some sympathy for the poor cavemen.  I know I’d be pretty pissed if Geico put up billboards declaring, “So easy, even a Mexican can do it!”  And, yeah, I know cavemen aren’t walking the streets, but still . . . it’s time to leave the cavemen in peace, guys.

Advice to all aspiring writers.  When you finally do make it, be very, very careful with your money.  Because, for better or worse, prompt payment just doesn’t happen.  I’m not complaining.  I understand that this is just how the business works.  But everything moves in slow motion in this business.  You have been warned.

 A zombie comic is a zombie comic is a zombie comic.  Just because you give the zombie a power ring and make them zombies from space, it doesn’t change anything.  And that’s fine.  Just don’t try to tell me it’s not.

More advice for aspiring writers:  You do not have the luxury of being shy.  I know.  You think you can write your brilliant novel, get it published, and just rake in the cash.  And maybe you can.  But J.D. Salinger aside, almost all succesful writers are personable, affable people.  From J.D. Rowling to Stephen King, Tom Clancy to Yours Truly, being comfortable talking to strangers is part of the job.

How many strong nurse shows do we need?

Most terrans have a weak grasp of science, and that’s a shame.  The universe is remarkably counter-intuitive, and our default “logic” usually leads us down the wrong road.  Biology, physics, medicine, and economics.  These are just a few of the areas where most everything you innately ”know” is just plain wrong.  But here’s the good news.  You live in the information age, gang.  You don’t have the same excuse to dwell in ignorance.  Make friends with science today.

Speaking of dwelling in ignorance, can we put to rest the birther conspiracy theory already?  It’s an outright lie that Obama wasn’t born in America.  (Funnily enough, John Mccain was born in Panama, but nobody seems to bring that up.  Probably because it’s a technicality that is completely irrelevant.)  I get that some people can be a little uneasy with a dark-skinned man as President (and if you want to believe that this rumor doesn’t rely on certain racial intolerances that’s your perogative), but just because you don’t like something, doesn’t make it not true.

We’re definitely in a transitional moment.  A black President?  (Okay, half-black but still that’s 50 percent more than any previous Prez.)  A latina Supreme Court judge?  There’s no doubt that we’re moving closer toward that melting pot we’ve always claimed to be, and for a certain group of people, that scares the crap out of them.  If I hear one more rich, white male bemoaning about racism . . .

I get it.  Nobody likes losing power.  And the white male dominance of America has lasted a long, long time.  You had a good run.  Now get over it. 

On the positive side, these moments of ”oppressed white victimhood” are becoming increasingly ludicrous.  And most people of all arbitrary racial distinctions seem perfectly comfortable with the changes.  And why shouldn’t they be?  It’s not the end of the world.  Hell, it’s not even a big change.

My favorite moment of white man’s outrage was when a white senator asked Sotomayor if she understood his discomfort with the notion that maybe her Latina background might prejudice her against white people.  And I found myself thinking:  A minority woman?  No, there’s no way she possibly ever had to deal with as much racial prejudice as a wealthy white senator.

And on that note of sarcasm, I think I’ll end this collection of random thoughts.

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee


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